Letting Go of Mind Reading
What I learned from my cat
By Susan D. Rostkoski, Principal Consultant
OK, so stay with me here as I wend my way to my main point.
Recently I took my elderly cat to the vet for his checkup and, while he was generally healthy, he was showing signs of some arthritis. The vet gave me a pet-safe joint health supplement to sprinkle on his canned food daily. The next morning, I did as instructed (i.e., wet food with the supplement stirred in). He took one taste and walked away! Well, I thought, that’s that for the arthritis remedy. I tossed out what he wouldn’t eat and the next morning I gave him the same food but without the medicine. To my surprise, he took one bite and walked away. Lesson: It was the food he didn’t like, not the medication.
This small incident made me wonder how often I jump to conclusions without adequate evidence or research—or just because I’m busy and distracted. Reaching unwarranted conclusions or, in the world of psychology, “cognitive distortion” can affect decision-making big and small. The types of this distortion, according to Wikipedia, are:
· Mind reading –a sense of access to special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others (including humans and our pets).
· Fortune telling – predetermined expectations for how things will turn out before or as they happen.
· Labeling – overgeneralizing the characteristics of others.
I don’t suggest that these necessarily apply to my cat, but I was quick to see my part in diagnosing the situation with inadequate consideration for the many variables with which we are often presented –but which we just as often overlook or ignore.
From www.VeryWellMind.com come some tips that can encourage better decision making.
· Check the facts: Start by gathering as much information as you can before you make a judgment or decision.
· Challenge your thinking: If you find yourself making assumptions, actively challenge your conclusions. Is there another explanation that would also make sense?
· Ask questions: Before you jump to conclusions about what another person might be thinking, try just asking. Communicating your concerns and getting a direct answer can eliminate a lot of confusion. (Clearly, this doesn’t apply to pets.)
· Take another perspective: Think about the situation from the point of view of an outsider. How might they interpret the situation? What information would they need to reach an accurate conclusion?
Making decisions with adequate information increases the likelihood that you will make better decisions and make conclusion-jumping a thing of the past.
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